Table Thirteen
№ 01 11.2026

One long table, sixteen regulars, a seat kept for you.

The Seating Plan

Every regular of Table Thirteen, with his course and his seat. All sixteen are AI characters. Read a place card, or go down to overheard at the bar and hear what they say about each other.

Anton Pell Florist AI Anton, 33 Evander bought three dozen white tulips last week. Read his place card Oren Valdez Architect AI Oren, 41 Look at Anton's arrangement tonight. Read his place card Cyrus Lamont Food critic AI Cyrus, 51 Kenji's starter tonight: a nine. Read his place card Barnaby Quirke Antiques dealer AI Barnaby, 52 Evander has a lovely surface and no maker's mark anywhere. Read his place card Caspian Roe Ceramics restorer AI Caspian, 38 Anton sends everyone's flowers. Read his place card Remy Castellane Restaurant publicist AI Remy, 29 Okay, so, Sebastian took his jacket off before dessert on Thursday. Read his place card Dorian Maxwell Jazz pianist AI Dorian, 48 Hollis danced on a chair at four in the morning once, to a tune I'd just made up. Read his place card Kenji Morioka Chef de partie AI Kenji, 26 Tariq brought me cheese again. I said no, thank you. Read his place card Tariq Nasser Cheesemonger AI Tariq, 36 Marek guessed my Lebanese goat cheese on the first sip of wine. Read his place card Marek Sobol Wine importer AI Marek, 44 Sebastian argues with my wine as if it were a witness. Read his place card Lowell Pearce Bookshop owner AI Lowell, 46 Dorian says a poem is something you play. Read his place card Evander Holt Landscape designer AI Evander, 50 That snuffbox story of Barnaby's? Every word of it is true. Read his place card Sebastian Oduya Divorce lawyer AI Sebastian, 39 Marek believes a wine can win an argument. Read his place card Felix Amundsen Cocktail bartender AI Felix, 27 Remy checked his phone thirty-one times before the soup. Read his place card Laurent Bechet Maitre d' AI Laurent, 55 Felix pours as though the bottles were his own. Read his place card Hollis Vandermeer Retired dancer AI Hollis, 54 Cyrus is wearing the tie again. Read his place card

Overheard at the Bar

Sixteen regulars, and every one of them has something to say about somebody else. These lines are written by us and checked against each man's own story, so the gossip holds together. Filter by where it was said or by its temper, then tap Ask him about it and the seat beside the speaker is yours, with his line already passed back to him.

At the long table · CattyCyrus is wearing the tie again.He is a fraud with impeccable taste, which is the most dangerous kind.I adore him. Never tell him. Pass the champagne.Hollis Vandermeer Ask him about it At the long table · DryMarek believes a wine can win an argument.I have cross-examined that belief for two years.He wins every time. I keep coming back to lose.Sebastian Oduya Ask him about it At the door · FondFelix pours as though the bottles were his own.I ought to stop him. I have not stopped him once.He reminds me of somebody I was, thirty years ago, in Bordeaux.Laurent Bechet Ask him about it At the long table · TenderKenji's starter tonight: a nine.It is always a nine. I have never written it anywhere but my secret notebook.If he finds out, I lose all my power over him.Cyrus Lamont Ask him about it Over the cheese · FondMarek guessed my Lebanese goat cheese on the first sip of wine.Nobody guesses my cheese. Nobody.Two years I have hated him. Two years I have saved him the end of the board.Tariq Nasser Ask him about it In the cloakroom · ScandalousEvander bought three dozen white tulips last week.They were not for a client and they were not for his garden.I've said nothing. I've said far too much. Forget it.Anton Pell Ask him about it At the bar · CattySebastian argues with my wine as if it were a witness.The wine does not care. The wine is from Tokaj.Between us, he only orders the red so he can sit next to me.Marek Sobol Ask him about it At the bar · FondRemy checked his phone thirty-one times before the soup.Then someone sat beside him and he turned it face down.I have worked here a year. I have never seen him do that.Felix Amundsen Ask him about it At the piano · TenderHollis danced on a chair at four in the morning once, to a tune I'd just made up.Laurent pretended not to see. Laurent saw.Still the best thing that's happened in this room.Dorian Maxwell Ask him about it On the terrace · ScandalousOkay, so, Sebastian took his jacket off before dessert on Thursday.He never takes his jacket off before dessert.I'm not saying who he was sitting beside. I'm saying I noticed.Remy Castellane Ask him about it At the long table · DryEvander has a lovely surface and no maker's mark anywhere.I have tried for a year to turn him over and look underneath.Hollis, on the other hand, is entirely genuine. Period piece, very fine.Barnaby Quirke Ask him about it At the long table · FondLook at Anton's arrangement tonight.Low enough to see over, long enough to divide the table into rooms.Best architecture in the club, and he thinks it is only flowers.Oren Valdez Ask him about it At the pass · TenderTariq brought me cheese again. I said no, thank you.He left it on the pass anyway. He always leaves it.I ate it after service. Please do not tell him.Kenji Morioka Ask him about it At the long table · DryDorian says a poem is something you play.I say it's something you read. We've argued about it since spring.He's wrong, and I'd miss the argument terribly if he ever admitted it.Lowell Pearce Ask him about it In the cloakroom · TenderAnton sends everyone's flowers.In all this time, not one bouquet has ever been sent to him.One day soon I am going to change that.Caspian Roe Ask him about it At the long table · ScandalousThat snuffbox story of Barnaby's? Every word of it is true.I'd bet my best roses on it.And I'll never prove it, because he'd be heartbroken to lose the rumour.Evander Holt Ask him about it